i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you would pick up someone in the library
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
