Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
