I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
