I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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