remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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