In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
