I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Redeem this text for a blowjob
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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