So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize