so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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