It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
