4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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