There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
