Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
