I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
