He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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