Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
should my penis look like a turkey
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
