tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize