I saw his package. It spoke to me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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