I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
