it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
