Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
