If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
