ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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