The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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