yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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