youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
