Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
