So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
