And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
