No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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