i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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