4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just threw up on my dentist
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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