Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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