you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
