forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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