How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
