So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
