what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
