how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
