weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im holly from the hills drunk
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
