My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize