So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
