twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
These tits shall not be calmed
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
