You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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