so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Your cock deserves a montage
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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