god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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