saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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