Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All I want is dick and wine.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
