She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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