Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
