Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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