He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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