Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just threw up on my dentist
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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