There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
