Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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