I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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