I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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