ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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