Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
