I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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