Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
