Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
