he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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