I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
