dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
