A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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