I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
