I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
