im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
