I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
