i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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